Televisual Representations

A few days ago, I was talking to my dear friend Saoirse (who, you may recall, has cameoed in these parts before – in point of fact, someone stumbled across this blog by Googling her recently, which is interesting). In the course of this conversation, I mentioned that I have developed a theory whereby various periods of my (projected future) life correspond to sitcoms. Saoirse ran with this idea, featuring her own take on it on her very fine blog. As such, I thought I’d illustrate my original theory.

CURRENT CIARÁN – The Fresh Meat Years

I am not six people. Though I sometimes seem to be.

I’ve been rather enjoying Fresh Meat on Channel 4 (not to mention harping on about it on Twitter). It’s exceedingly relatable for all students, with recognisable characters and situations (the character of Howard is remarkably like a friend of mine, who I will decline to name for reasons of potential libel). That said, I don’t actually relate or indeed correspond directly to any of the characters (though I’m probably closest to Kingsley, being a drama student who is slightly scared of a lot of other drama students). The grubby and indeed sex-obsessed realities of student life are nicely expressed, though, and I defy any student to watch the series without feeling an overwhelming (and possibly uncomfortable) sense of recognition.

CIARÁN + FIVE YEARS – The Spaced Years

This is DEFINITELY me.

Oddly enough, Saoirse and I both settled on this one. This is definitely how I see mid-twenties Ciarán, though: at something of a loose end, living a life of constant reference to popular culture, probably living with a good friend. I’m not a big fan of clubbing, though, and chances are I’ll still be engaged in my academic career in five years, all going well. Like Saoirse (again), I can see a lot of elements of myself in the characters: Tim’s bitterness, Daisy’s procrastination, both of their neuroticism (with a big dollop of Brian thrown in there)... Come to think of it, I’m also not a big fan of dogs (with some exceptions). I’m fine with bamboo, though.

CIARÁN + TEN YEARS – The Big Bang Theory Years

That's most definitely me on the left.

To be perfectly honest, I’m at least Sheldonesque now: pedantic, obsessive, constant sense of superiority, general lack of social skills, probably a nightmare to live with... Aside from the fact that my own academic career is in a very different discipline, and I didn’t enter college at fourteen, we are quite distressingly alike. I’ve actually been trying to gain a rudimentary understanding of physics in the last couple of months, which further cements this particular theory. The reason why I settled on 30ish Ciarán as being Big Bang Theory Ciarán is that, by my current plan, I should be fully qualified with a PhD in ten years, and hopefully be lecturing. Plus I’ll have enough disposable income to buy the eponymous machine from The Time Machine, which I found myself longing for while watching the relevant episode.

CIARÁN + TWENTY YEARS – The Frasier Years

Again with the dog thing, though.

The logical conclusion of all this is that 40-ish Ciarán will be some permutation of the Crane brothers (albeit teetotal, and thus wine- and sherryless). A radio show isn’t a necessity (though it would be nice); rather I’m thinking of the cultural pretensions (read: snobbery) of the brothers. In point of fact, I have a brother who will be qualified as a clinical psychologist in a few years, so the comparison is a good one. I’ve never been able to get into opera, but I have twenty years to do so; plenty of time.

Visual Representations

Apologies for my recent absence from these parts; I have been rather busy in college (though I have been present on my YouTube channels and Twitter). Recently, however, I raised my head from the large pile of Irish plays and commentary on such which surrounded me to discover that there is some kind of election on. Naturally, no election is complete without some commentary on the most superfluous aspects of the campaigns, so allow me to viciously lay into the candidates’ posters for a while.

I shall start with Michael D. Higgins:

While the juxtaposition in the picture above is amusing, I always took Michael D.’s gesture in that poster as being some kind of benediction for the country. Which is rather nice. On a separate note, while Michael D. has been widely compared to Dobby the house-elf, I personally feel he more closely resembles Donegal-based playwright (and hero of mine) Brian Friel. As a result, if he should win the election, I intend to spend the next seven years squinting, in order to pretend that Friel is our president.

Next, I shall move on to Martin McGuinness:

(Yes, I know that’s not a poster, but it’s the same picture as on his posters. Incidentally, as an experiment, I’m going to attempt to lay into McGuinness without mentioning the IRA.)

McGuinness’s smile honestly terrifies me.  It’s so very wide; it genuinely looks as though it’s hurting his face. Either the smile is put on, or else someone had just brought McGuinness (presumably erroneous) news that Ian Paisley had died. I also rather like his slogan “The People’s President”; technically it could mean “the president belonging to the people”, but the Irish translation makes it clear that it actually means “the president of the people” (a sly bit of phrasing there). It does, of course, raise the question of what exactly the other candidates intend to represent. Birds? Trees? Rocks?

(Hurray, I did it! I really didn’t expect to be able to do that. Good for me.)

As for Gay Mitchell’s poster...

...Yeah, I have nothing whatsoever to say about Mitchell. Much like Fine Gael, in fact.

So, on to the Independents, then. Let’s start with Mary Davis:

I’ve been trying to figure out why exactly Davis decided that a full-body shot was necessary for her posters. Is the country more likely to vote for her on the basis of her good child-bearing hips?

(Note: I have absolutely no idea what good child-bearing hips look like.)

Of course, having slagged off these four, I’d be remiss if I didn’t have a go at Seán Gallagher, David Norris and Dana. So here are all of their posters in one picture, conveniently:

Truly eloquent.

Now, I know some folks are glued to this election, but I honestly couldn’t care less. As long as a couple of candidates (not saying who; I try not to obviously take political sides here) don’t get in, I honestly don’t care who does. The two referenda on Thursday are probably far more important for the future state of the country, but there’s been almost no attention paid to them. I always hate this kind of sensationalist politics. The only thing I can say for it is that it’s productive for satirists. Happy days indeed.