Perhaps you've seen the new Blackberry ad featuring the "Blackberry boys". If not, allow me to rectify your ignorance.
As you see, the ad depicts five gentlemen in suits dancing delightfully and singing a jaunty tune, before they are joined by a number of impudent trespassers in casual wear who join in, and drown out the poor gentlemen. Now, some might say that the ad is a metaphor, attempting to show that Blackberries can be enjoyed by non-business types who don't wear suits ("Not just for the office types", as the ad itself states). I, however, see it very differently. I believe this ad is nothing short of an attack on the suit-wearers of the world.
As a proud suit-wearer myself, I am well aware of the history of such attacks. There was a time, many decades ago, when no man, regardless of class or background, would dare to venture out in public without a suit. Back then, a man's suit meant more to him than his family; to ruin another's suit was regarded as one of the most abominable crimes imaginable (though some gentlemen do still carry on this tradition, as can be seen here between about 0.47 and 1.32). Since these glory days, however, things have deteriorated sharply.
It is now considered au fait to attack either a suit-wearer or his/her suit (one positive step has been the opening up of suit-wearing to both genders). Gangs of suit-ruiners roam the streets, searching for an unwary suit-wearer, so that they may remove his/her jacket and stamp upon it. Even our tunesmiths have joined the ranks of these hooligans – examples can be found here and here. Despite my general approval of Messrs Strummer and de la Rocha, I must protest this flagrant disrespect to the glory of suits. Even the great Neil Hannon, a wearer of fine suits, temporarily joined in with this insanity.
Thus, the poor "Blackberry boys", overwhelmed as they are by swarms of people in offensively casual clothing, are but a microcosm for the many oppressed suit-wearers of the world. Yet there is hope. There are many who have not given up the fight; who wear suits proudly, regardless of the abuse they suffer. I myself am no more than the least of these. I am pleased to see that politicians around the world are part of our ranks (with some exceptions, such as "Ming" Flanagan, but let's face it, he hardly counts as a politician). I am even more pleased to note that Mr. Hannon has rejoined our ranks. Together, perhaps we can expose this scourge, and bring suits back to the widespread prominence they deserve.
Perhaps, some day, the noble suit will regain its former glory. Until then, I can only ask that you stand with us against the plague of casual wear. We suit-wearers may be persecuted, but our day will come once more...
[Apologies for the brief hiatus; technical issues. I will try to ensure this happens less frequently.]
