Visual Representations

Apologies for my recent absence from these parts; I have been rather busy in college (though I have been present on my YouTube channels and Twitter). Recently, however, I raised my head from the large pile of Irish plays and commentary on such which surrounded me to discover that there is some kind of election on. Naturally, no election is complete without some commentary on the most superfluous aspects of the campaigns, so allow me to viciously lay into the candidates’ posters for a while.

I shall start with Michael D. Higgins:

While the juxtaposition in the picture above is amusing, I always took Michael D.’s gesture in that poster as being some kind of benediction for the country. Which is rather nice. On a separate note, while Michael D. has been widely compared to Dobby the house-elf, I personally feel he more closely resembles Donegal-based playwright (and hero of mine) Brian Friel. As a result, if he should win the election, I intend to spend the next seven years squinting, in order to pretend that Friel is our president.

Next, I shall move on to Martin McGuinness:

(Yes, I know that’s not a poster, but it’s the same picture as on his posters. Incidentally, as an experiment, I’m going to attempt to lay into McGuinness without mentioning the IRA.)

McGuinness’s smile honestly terrifies me.  It’s so very wide; it genuinely looks as though it’s hurting his face. Either the smile is put on, or else someone had just brought McGuinness (presumably erroneous) news that Ian Paisley had died. I also rather like his slogan “The People’s President”; technically it could mean “the president belonging to the people”, but the Irish translation makes it clear that it actually means “the president of the people” (a sly bit of phrasing there). It does, of course, raise the question of what exactly the other candidates intend to represent. Birds? Trees? Rocks?

(Hurray, I did it! I really didn’t expect to be able to do that. Good for me.)

As for Gay Mitchell’s poster...

...Yeah, I have nothing whatsoever to say about Mitchell. Much like Fine Gael, in fact.

So, on to the Independents, then. Let’s start with Mary Davis:

I’ve been trying to figure out why exactly Davis decided that a full-body shot was necessary for her posters. Is the country more likely to vote for her on the basis of her good child-bearing hips?

(Note: I have absolutely no idea what good child-bearing hips look like.)

Of course, having slagged off these four, I’d be remiss if I didn’t have a go at Seán Gallagher, David Norris and Dana. So here are all of their posters in one picture, conveniently:

Truly eloquent.

Now, I know some folks are glued to this election, but I honestly couldn’t care less. As long as a couple of candidates (not saying who; I try not to obviously take political sides here) don’t get in, I honestly don’t care who does. The two referenda on Thursday are probably far more important for the future state of the country, but there’s been almost no attention paid to them. I always hate this kind of sensationalist politics. The only thing I can say for it is that it’s productive for satirists. Happy days indeed.