In Memoriam

As intimated in the opening article, this new iteration of WAKE UP is fundamentally missing something; a nurturing, guiding presence. It is safe to say that without this presence, WAKE UP is completely different; indeed, one might say that it is less than what it was. Without this presence, the new WAKE UP must strive to mark itself out on its own terms as a different animal, though still beholden to the original principles. It is clear, however, that whatever happens, this presence is irreplaceable; we will always miss our stickmen.

The army of stickmen first came to WAKE UP's attention in February 2008, as the first issue was beginning to come together. Messrs. Treacy and Young were casting about for some visual element for the new publication; something to mark articles out and to arrest the reader's attention. We were in need of a versatile symbol, something whose talents could be stretched to any task. All of a sudden, there was a knock on the door. Outside were a small group of stickmen, about a dozen, dressed in various manners. The lead stickman extended his hand, and introduced himself as Mr. S. Mann, recently elected president of the Irish Union of Stickmen. They had heard that we were in need of a visual aid, and had taken it upon themselves to come and offer their versatile services.

Pleasantly surprised though we were, we knew that it would be remiss of us not to offer the stickmen a test before hiring them. As such, we asked the stickmen to re-enact famous works of art. The results were astounding. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel was a triumph, 'The Birth of Venus' was awe-inspiring, 'Guernica' was extraordinarily moving. 'Plato's Academy' was particularly remarkable, especially given that there were only about a dozen stickmen. They were hired on the spot, and we immediately put them to work.

Their work ethic was truly inspiring. They rarely took breaks, and never complained, even when one of them had to be tipped off a chair over and over again for one article. They did a remarkable impression of thirteen teachers from Templeogue College, people they had never met and knew only from our rather nebulous and caricatured descriptions. They were unfailingly polite, often offering their services as personal assistants. When Hans Gruber and Zapp Brannigan came in for their photo-shoots, they found that delicious lunches had been prepared for them by the stickmen. Both gentlemen mentioned to us before leaving what a high impression they had developed of the stickmen, and both were personally chauffeured by Mr. Mann.

Mann himself was a singularly remarkable personage. He was always at the forefront of any initiative; inspiring and leading his friends in their work. He was also a gentleman of rare humility, rarely mentioning his family connections; he is descended from silent film star Hector Mann, and is a first cousin of the Man in the Hat from XKCD. Mr. Mann was never credited, at his own request, but he was perhaps the single most important person behind the magazine run of WAKE UP.

All good things, however, must come to an end (the eventual fate of bad things is not recorded in aphorism form), and WAKE UP was no exception. After the success of the second issue, the stickmen waited expectantly for the call to come for the much-publicised third issue. Eventually, a call did indeed come – a call thanking them for their services, and informing them that there would be no third issue. It seems they were heartbroken; we never heard from the IUS again.

Recently, as WAKE UP began to slowly rise from the ashes once more, we gave Mr. Mann a call for the first time in over two years. He was frosty at first, but as the reminiscences began, he thawed; within minutes, he was laughing heartily once more. Eventually, he agreed to perform one last service; though his kind were unsuited to the new medium (and, in any case, their relationship was primarily with Mr. Young), he would personally appear to bid WAKE UP readers a fond farewell. So without further ado, here is the utterly unique Mr. S. Mann:

Readers, raise your cups of tea to the memory of Mr. Mann and the IUS; though they can no longer be with us, they have made a wonderful contribution which will never be forgotten. Their spirits remain in the pages of WAKE UP. We ask readers, therefore, if you have a physical copy of the magazine, to examine it, and to appreciate the unique work of the stickmen. May they find success in all their future endeavours.


 
Thanks to Mr. Patrick McGarry for the inspiration for this article.